CJ Meets Damian Abraham
Lead singer of “Fucked Up”
Photo's by Jack Kirwin
I’ve known Damian for a few years now, through seeing Fucked Up many times across the UK. He’s always been a great man to chat to and loves his bear fan club very much. Fucked Up are in my opinion one of the best bands out there at the moment. Always pushing the boundaries of hardcore punk music. After a gig earlier this year, we met outside the venue and he invited me in to the backstage room. We chatted for a while catching up and we moved into the tiny backstage bathroom away from the noise from the support acts sound checking. He stood in the shower for the duration of the interview (fully clothed and with the shower off unfortunately) but it was a certainly a sight. Damian has always been a positive role model in my life, I follow suit by playing topless in my band Dead Retinas.
CJ: For those who have never seen Fucked Up, can you give us an insight in to What can we expect.
Damian Abraham: Hopefully a live unleashing of pent up energy, but I don’t want to say aggressive. Hopefully it’s a live celebration of life. You’ll defiantly see an overweight man with no shirt on running around the crowd, that’s myself. Onstage you will see very well kept, very skilled musicians playing poppy punk rock. It’s the celebration of life in its ups and downs.
CJ: You’re a positive role model for body confidence. Were you always this confident playing half naked?
DA: Oh no, I never took my shirt off for the first two years we played as a band. I didn’t even take my shirt off when having sex. I hated going swimming fucking hated it, cause I had boobs which was the bane of my existence. Then I started getting hair on my back and I was like “Oh great another wrinkle”. It wasn’t until we played a show in Albany one time and the kids went crazy and tore my shirt off. I did the show shirtless but I was very “covering up” in a humiliated kind of way. We played a show with Limp Wrist. Scott from Limp Wrist said, “You look really good with your shirt off”. No one had ever said that to me. Friends and girlfriends said I looked good, but I didn’t believe them. It gave me that weird confidence on stage. There’s actually a video of my taking my shirt off for the first time, and the world didn’t end, nobody laughed at me. This is who I am and I take it off every night there after. Now it feels weird performing with a shirt on. I even record topless. It feels natural to do it that way now. I wanted it to be a political statement like what Beth Ditto did, even though I think with women there’s a lot more body shit put on them, but I still thought it could be a celebration for fat dudes.
CJ: ‘Glass boys’ has just been released. How difficult was the writing process in comparison to David Comes To Life?
Damian: It was really hard at first. I wanted it to be really negative and I had all this vision. As we got into it I was calling Mike and Jonah asking to send another song, I was ready. Once I found the tone of what I wanted to say I found it really easy to keep trying for different ideas and different ways to get songs across. I hadn’t felt so motivated to write songs since the 3rd 7inch, it just felt like every song I knew what it was going to be about.
CJ: Have you been to any bear/gay events?
Damian: I don’t think I’ve never been to bear specific events but gay events? In Toronto like Vaseline, was this party put on by my friend Will who was one of the coolest dudes ever and he did this awesome queer punk party night. It was a place where Limp Wrist played their first show in Toronto. But you also had this hetero normative white suburban punk rock band too. It was an amazing vibe to see happen. We use to go to Vaseline all the time. Toronto has this reputation of being nerdy and good and kind of lame. But we had all the punk rock kids hanging out at the gay night because it was the best party in town. Toronto also has a large LGBTQ community in Church and Wellesley the gay ghetto, which has been there since forever, and we go to the pride event every year with the family.
CJ: You’ve lost a lot of weight recently. Weight issues are always a concern amongst the larger men of the bear community. Have you been working out at all?
Damian: No. One thing that I have done that Jonah said last night that was technically “working out” is that I have a form roller which I need to bring on tour with me to roll out my leg muscles so they don’t cramp up. I swear to god I’ve not touched a weight or gone into a gym. I have no interest to go in there. I do enjoy walking, but most of the credit goes to smoking pot and getting off anti anxiety pills for me. I still eat fast food, the only thing I have done is stopped drinking 3 to 6 litres of soda a day. I never wanted to change the way I looked and I think it is a side effect from the marijuana. I defiantly had internalized issues because people put shit on me growing up but once I got over it thanks to playing in this band and Scott (Limp Wrist) I never had problems. I never dieted and it’s weird that what the weed did for me was let me go into fast food restaurants and not get two big sandwiches, 3 sometimes. Now I can just get one and enjoy that.
CJ: I think the song “I Hate Summer” is an ode to the troubles of larger men is this the case?
Damian: Absolutely! That’s what it’s about, it’s about finding love and finding someone who loves you because you look the way you look. How you find someone who is united in the fact they don’t like the summer time. Everyone looks better in a winter jacket, I don’t care who you are but you look better in winter jacket. If I saw the early Oasis shots with them just wearing jackets I’d be like “yeah they’re alright” but when I saw them in the parkers “yeah that band is sick!” Everyone looks better in winter jackets.
CJ: Is that your only “fat” themed song?
Damian: No I think every song comes back to that in a certain way. Certainly a lot of the anger came from the fact I felt picked up by people, and part of it was coming to awareness of how short life is and how cruel life can be and how terrible people choose to make it on others. I think that was the narrative that ran through the early songs.
CJ: You’ve always had a visual writing style most recently seen in your new single ‘Sun Glass’. What’s your inspiration?
Damian: That one is a mike song. Best way to divide mine and mikes songs is if it’s a song about nature is most likely a “Mike Song” if it’s a song about questioning faith, mortality and being angry is a Damian song. Most of the inspiration comes from Reading. I do really enjoy learning things as well.
CJ: Is there anyone in the hardcore punk music seen that you would consider a bear aesthetically? Whether it’s gay or straight.
Damian: Patty (Costello) from ‘Dillinger Four’, Tom Harrington I can see having bear qualities, but he’s skinnier then me. Someone told me an otter? Perhaps he’s one of those? Hank when he was in ‘Turbonegro’. Wade MacNeil! My homie Wade, when I’m with you CJ I have to mention Wade. There’s a dude from ‘Torch’ who I think is actually a bear, and Scott from limp wrist obviously.
CJ: What’s it like balancing being a father and husband with touring?
Damian: It’s weird cause it’s a very insecure life to be building a family on, it’s not guaranteed. There’s not a gold watch at the end of it during retirement. That being said it took me a long time for my to be proud of what my parents did. Where as with Holden (Damian’s Son) he always tells me how much he likes the music I do, He sings along and comes on stage to sing, and I feel he’s proud of me which I think helps when going away. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t freaking out in the van with it being Fathers day and being over here. It’s like this weird trade off, that every wild fantasy has come trust but there’s this one wrinkle that makes you miserable.
CJ: After touring with the last album ‘David Comes To Life’ you said you were unsure if you would make another record. What changed that?
Damian: I was at an award show. Lets say it was a music industry event. I was sitting there and looking around the room and realizing I was in a room full of people (negatively so but) were inspiration for the formation of Fucked Up or at least my involvement in punk rock. I remember the next day online I read an article and there was a picture of me on the red carpet doing a roar face and I was thinking “Oh I’ve fucked up here”. I think that was when I decided that there was stuff I still wanted to say. Realistically we were always going to try and write another album but I had no motivation at all. I felt really motivated in an angry way and that gave birth to “Paper The House” and “The Art Of Patrons” and those songs were the first couple of songs we wrote for that record. As we went on through the process Mike, Josh and I talked and it came became more about aging and growing up and coming to terms with being an adult and the compromises you’ve made, and trying to be at peace with that.
CJ: Would you consider yourself a Top or bottom? Dominant or Submissive?
Damian: I think I would be versatile, I think there are benefits in both and it’s fun to be both. I don’t think I would like to be specifically one or like “This is my role” because I like switched it up. I definitely know a few hard tops and submissive bottoms. I have friends were in a full time submissive/dominant relationship for a while and it spilled in to there everyday life. I was a Retro kid thinking, “Oh wow that challenges a lot of my notions” but why the fuck not, who gives a fuck.
CJ: Hugs or belly rubs?
Damian: Hugs, I don’t mind belly rubs on stage but I think belly rubs can feel a little patronizing. It’s like when I blow raspberries on a bigger stomach. I do it as a sign of mutual respect where as belly rubs feel patronizing. A hug is always a good sign of affection.
CJ: Boxers, briefs or jocks?
Damian: Boxer briefs I guess. Sounds like my walking in the middle of the road with all these questions but I prefer boxers. Right now I’m wearing boxer briefs cause my wife bought them for me. I will never ever wear briefs. They ride up. I used to wear them as a kid but I’ll never go back. As a kid I got that ring of death when you walked to far and you get the chaffing on the thighs I think boxers are the best at controlling that.
CJ: Being outside the bear community but aware of what it is what do you think a ‘bear’ is?
I guess I think a bear is a large attractive hairy man that is entrusted in other men. It’s so hard to reduce a culture to a few words. It’s so much more then sexuality or sexual preference. It’s hard to say what it is. I find it’s a very interconnecting community. Everyone knows everyone else through the bear connection. Dudes come to other shows in different countries to know people far away or in other countries. It’s very much like the punk rock community. I’m making sweeping generalizations so please excuse them.