Doctor Woof...
Doctor Woof is our resident Agony Uncle. His vast experience as Senior Consultant and Professor at the Royal Institute of Naughtiness will ensure his comments are constructive, insightful and only slightly bitchy.
Dear Dr Woof,
After many years of being single I have a new boyfriend called Hanz. He’s a great guy, but he likes talking during sex. Not dirty talk, but general talk like what’s for dinner whilst I’m trying to get off. Does he find me boring in bed, or is this a common thing?
Thanks
WP, Cologne
.
Dear WP of Cologne , I think you will find that this problem is not exclusive to you and Hanz. You may or may not find solace in the fact that many people have written to me expressing the same sentiment, it seems that it is in fact a common thing, they all find you boring in bed.
Dear Dr Woof,
I’m gay. However my friends – as nice as they are – always seem to be making homophobic jokes. I really don’t want to lose my friends but I have to be who I am and come out. Any advice on how to come out?
Regards
CK, Croydon UK
Dear Dr Woof,
My penis is only 3 inches long. 3.2 when I’m really up for it. This is far below the average, are there any actual penis enhancement pills/methods that will work? I just want a decent 6 inches.
Regards
.
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you've got a thick skin... come and consult Doctor Woof!
Dear Señor SP of Madrid.
3.2 inches? Oh dear. I used to have a fuck buddy back in 2007 who had a great big nine inch penis, it was very thick and it was one of those that tapered out and got thicker the closer it got to the base. It was always rock hard and boy did he know how to use it… sigh… but anyways..I digress. His name is Emilio and he lives in Madrid also…do you know him? I lost his number.
Dear CK, of Croydon,
OMG what a horrible predicament. You know, ordinarily I would say, be out and proud and hold your head up high, but to be honest, even in this day and age, it is still quite unpalatable to most and represents a significant stigma, so regrettably I would suggest that you keep your sordid little secret to yourself and never EVER again admit to anyone that you are from Croydon.